Saturday, January 31, 2015

Make me a Servant... scary stuff!

I have sung this song in many different times in my life with many different emotions of heart.  As a teenager, maybe more caught up in the tune than the lyrics.  As a High School graduate going to mission training with great expectation and enthusiasm of serving him on some foreign field.  The romanticism of  mission ministry swelling in my heart.  Then again on the field, struggling with homesickness, culture shock, really wanting to be home but wanting more to serve Him.

Lately it has been different.  I am in my 20+ year of living on the mission field.  I sort of married into it.  My husband is a preacher, my children are now teens, and I am facing new challenges of ministry. New responsibilities that becoming a midwife would entail make me sing the song again.  This time with a bit of fear - life was so comfortable for awhile there, I am fearful of those new responsibilities.  Fear of failure, maybe a bit.  But fear of not knowing where this will lead me.  Also fear of the reality that it is getting closer to the time of letting go of my children and wanting to follow them where they may go... knowing that most likely would be the opposite of where He seems to be leading me to serve.

The other day the song came into my mind and truly I got a huge lump in my throat... gone was the romanticism, the expectation, and hit straight on with the deeper, conviction of the meaning of those four little words.  I so want to be His servant, but oh how that scares me!

Tuesday, January 27, 2015


So this is a picture my son took of Emi and I last weekend while camping in the mountains.  To my horror it is all too evident how much weight I have put on!  How did I go from my profile picture to this in 4 yrs???

Due to the presentation of such incriminating evidence of my lack of self discipline, I have devised a plan (much of which is just retaking past healthier habits):

  • Starting out the day with Holy Yoga or the elliptical or both 
  • Beginning the Daniel Plan 
  • Drinking less coffee/more water!
  • Updating weekly as accountability
Lord willing and I will soon feel/see the benefits and those extra 30 lbs. will begin to disappear!

Friday, January 23, 2015

Starting up again

So, I find myself opening up my blog once again, with the intention of writing at least once a month. I don´t want to say the cliche - ¨so much has happened since my last post...¨ but so much has!

  • I have a high-school-er who LOVES rock-climbing and dreams of becoming a mechanic.
  • My youngest is now a teenager who loves making new friends.
  • I strongly desire to homeschool full time again next school year.
  • I am coming up on my 42nd Birthday.
  • I am (Lord Willing) in my last year of midwifery school.
  • I have been in over 45 births so far... I have delivered 7.
  • One of the babies I delivered was with a mother who had an epidural. That never happens!
  • I have overcome my fear of needles.
  • I have yet to suture anything other than a pig´s foot which is fine with me.
  • I love teaching prenatal classes.
  • My husband and I are in our 2nd year of planting a church in the northern part of Oaxaca City.
  • I have so many ministry ideas but so little time!
  • I am recently losing large amounts of hair and have gained many pounds which I blame on all of the above ;)
There is so much that I am grateful for, and I learn something new about grace and love everyday.  
I am so blessed to have the husband, family, church, co-workers, mentors, that I have that make all the above possible and exciting.
I have great expectations for what God can do with myself this year and can´t wait to get started!  

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

New Devotions

So, we are beginning the book study "My Experience with God" at the birth center.  We share what we are learning on Fridays during devotional time. 

I actually had the workbook and had gone through the first couple of lessons some years ago, but re-reading it now at a different time and place in my life has been as if I had never seen it before.

The first lessons are about our walk with God and knowing how to follow Him.  I really enjoyed or was drawn to the realization that we don't need to know the complete will of God for our lives before we begin to walk.  The idea of Abraham leaving his home and beginning his journey is not new to me, but re-reading how he really had no idea of where he would be resting his head that night was eye opening to me.  Especially at this moment in our walk.

With the end of our ministry in the Calzada C of C and the beginning of a church plant in the north of the city, there are many uncertainties.  Reading of how He is in control of the big picture and want us to only take the first step has been refreshing.  I don't have to worry about the "what-ifs" and can just focus on what God is doing now right around me.  Just that small step is enough to get me on the path of fullfilling His will!  How peaceful is that!!!

I also was drawn to the well-known idea that we are made to be His tools.  I don't know how many times I have heard, read of the illustration of the potter and the clay, but this time it just seemed to fall in place.  We are formed by Him to serve His purpose, then He uses us in the way He sees fit.  This weekend I was talking with a very dear dear friend of mine in Toluca who has also been going through a very difficult time understanding what God was doing in her life.  As we were talking it was like a veil was lifted from my eyes and I could see meaning in the past year and the trials.

For the past couple of years we had been feeling torn in ministry.  Feeling it was time to move on, but always seeing someone who seemed to be a reason to stay.  It seemed we were back and forth, back and forth, but never could truly discern what God was calling us to do.  Then last year my health became a priority over ministry and in the end we were asked to leave because of our decline in participation.  I admit I was angry and still believe that what the brethren did was not right.  Instead of rallying around us in our time of need, they rallied against us and in the end kicked us out.  Now in hindsight I can see how we were so unsure for so long, that maybe the only way He could get us to do His will was through these drastic means?  If He needed to use my health as a means to fullfill His will in getting us out of an unhealthy situation, then Heme Aqui. 

Of course I wish we could have avoided the losses, but we are now excited about the future and ministry, and we can't wait to see what He will do with us now!  We are hoping it will be something a little less painful! :)

Day of the Dead in Toluca

 So, while Aaron and Hubby were in Mexico City at the National Boulder Championships, Emily and I spent time with our dear friends Betty, Roberto and family in Toluca.  Our first day we went downtown to the annual "Feria del Alfeñique" which is held during the Day of the Dead Holiday.  I really have no idea what the word "alfeñique" means, but it consists of booths and booths of little sculptures made of mazapan, sugar, chocolate, and gummy candy. 

You can find sugar or chocolate skulls with beautiful flower decorations and have your name piped out in iceing on the forehead. I have always loved the different figures, and the deer and sheep are my favorites. My cell phone doesn't take the best pics, but you get the idea! (I uploaded a couple from the internet via google images)

Mazapan bread baskets, chicks and hens, and flowers.
 The deer, goats, and sheep!
Emi with the caskets... they have little sugar skeletons inside!

I had to have a chocolate skull and Emi is nibbling on the leg of a little goat.
After picking and eating our victims, we did a little clothing shopping.  I really enjoyed some girl time with Emi, Betty, and Alin.  Emi is at a fun age, becoming a young lady, but still wanting mom time.  I treasure every moment!
I googled Alfeñique... it means "a paste made of sugar".  There you have it!

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Mexico City

Aaron won 3rd place in the State Boulder Competition! Yay! He is a strong little string-bean, let me tell you. That kid is all muscle!  His winning is awesome and he is now eligible for the National Boulder Competitions like last year.  The downer here is that the competition is in Mexico City.

I came to Mexico at the ripe old age of 19.  Took the bus many times to Mexico City where I got pick-pocketed and groped a couple of times on the Metro (Don´t tell my mom! She would freak!).  I also rode the bus from Toluca to Oaxaca, doing the bus, metro, bus through Mexico City several times on my own.  I didn´t think twice about it (except wanting to find the offenders and to beat them) and consider myself quite adventuresome.

However, since I have had children my adventurous spirit has dwindled.  Taking trips has become a stress factor.  It isn´t the traveling with children.  Even traveling on my own has added a certain level of ¨freak-out!¨ A couple of years ago I traveled to a Women´s Retreat in Honduras, and even though I was with other missionary women my stress level was to the roof and I practically found myself in a touristic frenzy trying to get on through customs and making connections.

And so, as the date draws nearer, my anxiety level rises.  If they could only knock me over the head and wake me when we get there!  Or better yet, wake me when we get back!

  • Job 31:4 ¨Does He not see my paths and count all my steps?¨
  • Psalms 91:11 ¨He will give order to His angels about you, that they guard you in your paths.¨
  • Proverbs 3:6 ¨Recognize Him in all your paths, and He will make straight your way.¨

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Reflections of this year's Homeschool

the school year is fastly coming to an end! i really enjoyed this year with the kids at home. i know they have had moments when they missed school, but all i needed to do was mention the tests, homework, pressure of feeling up to their level, and they were once again content. school was good for them on a social level, but i defintily see a difference in their progress and stress level being at home.

we had a good year. i am loveing Charlotte Mason! at the beginning of the year i was excited but a bit leary as to the effectiveness of such an open way of learning, but over the time i have seen the benefits of narrations, transcriptions, open nature studies, etc... i am sure that many would have done things differently but i see several benefits to what we did and how we did it. just a couple of the advances I have seen are:

has read more books this year than the last couple of years put together!
has found an interest in science
has improved his handwriting GREATLY!
continues to do well in math. (better than mommy at times)
feels confident that he understands what he reads and can reproduce the information he has learned. (at the beginning of the year they would narrate what they had read and I would write it down as they told me. one day after the exercise with aaron, he looked at the page of writing and said, "Wow! I understood ALL THAT!" he was suprised that he could actually narrate a page of information!

has GREATLY improved her confidence in reading! YES YES YES!!!!! this was my #1 priority for her! if she didn't get anything else out of this year, at least she got rid of the idea that she wasn't as good as other readers!
she has enjoyed reading books like Pipi Longstockings and the Littles
has gotten rid of that ridiculous idea that she is dumb!! (thank you Jesus!)
has improved in math skills
loves art and has found new ways to express herself artisticly.
enjoys narrating what she has read or learned

there are several things i would like us to improve/add next year.

i think one of the main and resounding things would be record keeping of:
books read
narrations given
learning activities
if not on paper, at least blog them for future reference.

i would also (and plan on doing it) buy a nature study guide to have a little more structure on what we have learned and when.

next year looks to be alot of the same wonderful learning. as i mentioned above, i plan on buying Anne Comstocks book on nature study. we will be using the teaching textbooks for math, and continue with narration, transcription for english and spelling. i played with the idea of buying a Charlotte Mason book on transcription, but when i looked at it, it seemed to be just what we did this year! we will continue with the Mystery of History which has been soooo interesting. i think learning cronologically is the best way to learn history! so much easier to put things in their place and remeber more or less when it was that things happened. and having the bible events included right along with world events is a big bonus!

i was tempted, VERY TEMPTED to go back to the A Beka route. their glossy, colorful workbook pages and beautifully designed posters becon to my perfeccionist side, but the idea of just doing workbooks and more workbooks everyday and having everything sooo structured kept me from pressing the "add to cart" button. i might look in to their music dvd's since our great music teacher is moving back to the USA. we'll see.

i am thanking God for this great year, and pray that next year will be equally or more successful!!!