Getting Back in Focus

Have you ever felt overwhelmed with all you have to do and all that others expect you to do? Feeling helpless and kinda like you are failing at everything even though you are doing your best to succeed? Felt like it´s already sunset and you don´t remember the sunrise? I have. Actually quite a bit lately.

I have even felt maybe a little self pity. "Poor me, no one else wants to do all the things I have to do, but they sure do expect me to get it all done!" (I have a problem with saying "NO")

Well, I think God has been speaking to me. Or maybe hollering at me. It seems like everything I pick up here lately has something to do with being stressed out, worrying, being stuck in a rut, and taking on duties that aren´t yours to take on.

I have been reading a book for a ladies´ retreat I am planning, on Martha and Mary "Having a Mary heart in a Martha world." The first few chapters really have stuck out in my mind, but mostly where the author talks about our need to pray. I have a major confession. My prayer life has been "unable to connect" here lately. I do believe that is the major problem with all the other dark feelings I mentioned earlier.

If you don´t tap into the source, then you will never get the full power. I know that, I have known that for years, but somehow I forgot it? Maybe more like been distracted from the fact.

Other than the book, I have been listening to Rick Atchley´s sermon series on "Lightening up". Once again mentioning how we are often distracted and impaired by the unimportant things and forget about or put the important things on the back burner. Guilty.

So, this morning I went out to the terrace, got out some paper and a pen, and wrote down everything I was stressing about, put it into time frames (how much time I spent on each one during the week) then compared it to my time with God. Big slap in the face. I then confessed to the Lord my weakness, and SCHEDULED in a time for God every day. Now, I know that might sound cheap. "How can you just schedule God in like he were a planned visit or an errand?" Well, I think sometimes we give those errands better service than we do God!

Once I could see my schedule on paper, it helped me realise that I do have time in there for a healthy prayer and study life. It can be done!

I feel like the sun won´t go down on another day that I haven´t had communion and conversation with my Lord. It´s a good feeling. I highly recommend it!