Big changes
Yikes! It´s been awhile since my last entry. Alot has been going on, or happened since May. Goodness. Where to start. I guess that would be puppies. Our Cocker Spaniel had five little puppies in May. Very cute, but I have decided that animals having offspring; although very amazing and educating, is also very gross and ..... gross. The whole eating the placenta to cleaning up poo`s for the first month is too gross. But the puppies were really cute. We gave them all away since they were a weird breed. (Cocker/Lab) Except for one who looks alot like the mom with the curly ears and reddish color, but looks like its gonna be big like the dad. Great.
Anyhows..... Oh, we also started a small veggie garden with the Kirbo family. Fun fun. We have been doing quite a bit with them. They even watched our kiddos over night on our Anniversary which was way cool of them!! Jorge took me to a Hotel up on the Cerro de Fortin. We arrived for lunch, watched the rain from the balcony, had dinner, watched cable TV (love all the Home makeover shows!) had supper, enjoyed the room & complementary fruit basket, talked about goals and dreams, woke up and had breakfast, then went on our merry way. Refreshed and like newly weds again. Very nice. Just wish I had packed the camara because the view was beautiful. A Huge Mexican flag was flying over the Mountain, there were rain clouds showering way out south of the city which you could see the lines of the showers, and then the view of Santo Domingo and the zocalo.... very pretty.
What else? Fourth of July of course. We enjoyed a day of burgers and hot dogs on the grill. We had the Kirbo`s and the Shrock`s and Marisol and her family over and the kids played in the yard. I actually made a USA tablecloth and two matching windsocks for the ocasion and the kiddos colored American flags and stars to hang.
THEN Mary Ellen and Steph. started talking about the Missionary Ladies retreat they were going to in a couple of days. They had invited me, but since we were already planning a family vacation, I couldn´t imagine paying for "such luxury" for myself. But all of a suddent Mary Ellen was on the phone to the organizer to see if there were any spaces left, then something about a scholarship, then the next thing I knew I was packing a bag to go along too! Talk about quick planning. It was sooo uplifting though. Made me re-think many things, repent for alot of things, analize alot of things, change alot of things in my noggin`. ( I suddently heard my Papa saying "Must-a been sumthin` t` be able t` do that!") Anyhows, I came back renewed and with a whole other mindset. Actually there have been quite a few things happen beforehand leading me up to this point, but the retreat was definitly a major moment in my "enlightenment".
So, my major discovery has been..... I can Biblicly be a SAHM and nothing else!!! Ok, that might not sound like anything very amazing to you, but it is quite so to me. I have always dreamed of being a mommy, teaching fun things to my little kids, keeping house, sewing, cooking..... Then I decided I needed to be a missionary, and I am... but the whole missionary/preachers wife/ mom thing has been a hard thing to figure out. I mean, I think I really have spent the last precious years trying to do it all and not feel guilty about not doing it all perfect. Guilt is a BIG thing here. The women at church always make you feel guilty about not doing enough, about not doing it right, about ....everything I think they know they can´t or don´t want to do. So I have decided that I won´t let guilt run my life and make me commit to things that I don´t have to do.
It is amazing how God moves things. I read this great book called "Created to be His Help Meet." by Debbie Pearl. Really good, and a must read for any newly wed woman. or woman in any stage of marraige or any young woman thinking of getting married. It´s just good. Then I read and met the author of "Diving off the Pedestal" by Lila Quesada. She talks about how people think that since you are in ministry you must automaticly have it all together and be put up on a Spiritual pedestal.
The retreat, the books, a few blogs I have been reading and articles from Christian Women Online, and alot of frustration and crying out to the Lord have all really set me free. I don´t have to run around like a hen with her head cut off, trying to please everyone and do everything that everyone else thinks I need to be doing. I DON`T!! Of course that doesn´t mean that I´m not going to do anything.... that would be the opposite extreme. But I have definitly decided to dedicate my personal relationship with God, my husband, my children, and then, to the church if I have time and energy. I don´t feel like I have to organize the women´s ministry, children´s ministry or any ministry that the Lord has not directly called me to do. I will still teach Sunday school class, and participate in church activities, but on a lesser scale, and Jorge cheers me on this. I just regret feeling in the past that the kids and home had to be put on the back burner for so long. (I mentioned repenting at the retreat... well, there you have it).
So, what now? We enjoyed a great four days at the beach where I didn´t bring up any church issues or talk about making any plans or goals... I have signed up at the English Homeschool library in Mitla (a village 30 minutes away) soley for the excuse of getting out with the kids! I have taken off a couple of days to just have fun with the kids. (Trips to downtown Oaxaca) I am sewing again and picked up my embroidery! I am enjoying house work! And I feel alot more relaxed about Sunday services!!! I think I am going to enjoy life a little more!
P:S: I don´t want you to think I have been miserable for the last five years, but I have felt stressed out many a day :)
Wow, this little update has turned into a major revealing!!!
Anyhows..... Oh, we also started a small veggie garden with the Kirbo family. Fun fun. We have been doing quite a bit with them. They even watched our kiddos over night on our Anniversary which was way cool of them!! Jorge took me to a Hotel up on the Cerro de Fortin. We arrived for lunch, watched the rain from the balcony, had dinner, watched cable TV (love all the Home makeover shows!) had supper, enjoyed the room & complementary fruit basket, talked about goals and dreams, woke up and had breakfast, then went on our merry way. Refreshed and like newly weds again. Very nice. Just wish I had packed the camara because the view was beautiful. A Huge Mexican flag was flying over the Mountain, there were rain clouds showering way out south of the city which you could see the lines of the showers, and then the view of Santo Domingo and the zocalo.... very pretty.
What else? Fourth of July of course. We enjoyed a day of burgers and hot dogs on the grill. We had the Kirbo`s and the Shrock`s and Marisol and her family over and the kids played in the yard. I actually made a USA tablecloth and two matching windsocks for the ocasion and the kiddos colored American flags and stars to hang.
THEN Mary Ellen and Steph. started talking about the Missionary Ladies retreat they were going to in a couple of days. They had invited me, but since we were already planning a family vacation, I couldn´t imagine paying for "such luxury" for myself. But all of a suddent Mary Ellen was on the phone to the organizer to see if there were any spaces left, then something about a scholarship, then the next thing I knew I was packing a bag to go along too! Talk about quick planning. It was sooo uplifting though. Made me re-think many things, repent for alot of things, analize alot of things, change alot of things in my noggin`. ( I suddently heard my Papa saying "Must-a been sumthin` t` be able t` do that!") Anyhows, I came back renewed and with a whole other mindset. Actually there have been quite a few things happen beforehand leading me up to this point, but the retreat was definitly a major moment in my "enlightenment".
So, my major discovery has been..... I can Biblicly be a SAHM and nothing else!!! Ok, that might not sound like anything very amazing to you, but it is quite so to me. I have always dreamed of being a mommy, teaching fun things to my little kids, keeping house, sewing, cooking..... Then I decided I needed to be a missionary, and I am... but the whole missionary/preachers wife/ mom thing has been a hard thing to figure out. I mean, I think I really have spent the last precious years trying to do it all and not feel guilty about not doing it all perfect. Guilt is a BIG thing here. The women at church always make you feel guilty about not doing enough, about not doing it right, about ....everything I think they know they can´t or don´t want to do. So I have decided that I won´t let guilt run my life and make me commit to things that I don´t have to do.
It is amazing how God moves things. I read this great book called "Created to be His Help Meet." by Debbie Pearl. Really good, and a must read for any newly wed woman. or woman in any stage of marraige or any young woman thinking of getting married. It´s just good. Then I read and met the author of "Diving off the Pedestal" by Lila Quesada. She talks about how people think that since you are in ministry you must automaticly have it all together and be put up on a Spiritual pedestal.
The retreat, the books, a few blogs I have been reading and articles from Christian Women Online, and alot of frustration and crying out to the Lord have all really set me free. I don´t have to run around like a hen with her head cut off, trying to please everyone and do everything that everyone else thinks I need to be doing. I DON`T!! Of course that doesn´t mean that I´m not going to do anything.... that would be the opposite extreme. But I have definitly decided to dedicate my personal relationship with God, my husband, my children, and then, to the church if I have time and energy. I don´t feel like I have to organize the women´s ministry, children´s ministry or any ministry that the Lord has not directly called me to do. I will still teach Sunday school class, and participate in church activities, but on a lesser scale, and Jorge cheers me on this. I just regret feeling in the past that the kids and home had to be put on the back burner for so long. (I mentioned repenting at the retreat... well, there you have it).
So, what now? We enjoyed a great four days at the beach where I didn´t bring up any church issues or talk about making any plans or goals... I have signed up at the English Homeschool library in Mitla (a village 30 minutes away) soley for the excuse of getting out with the kids! I have taken off a couple of days to just have fun with the kids. (Trips to downtown Oaxaca) I am sewing again and picked up my embroidery! I am enjoying house work! And I feel alot more relaxed about Sunday services!!! I think I am going to enjoy life a little more!
P:S: I don´t want you to think I have been miserable for the last five years, but I have felt stressed out many a day :)
Wow, this little update has turned into a major revealing!!!
Comments
see you around blog-central!! haha