"Lucy, you got some splainin' to do!"
This weekend I went to a wonderful retreat here in Oaxaca. I was blessed to be included in the organizing team, although I feel like I fell short on my participation duties.
Anyhows, one of the last classes of the retreat was on dealing with elephants in our lives which are the strongholds, and learning to let go of them. I hadn't really thought of this before and had quite and epiphany. Marty gave us several phrases to try and pinpoint our "Elephants". The phrase that struck me was: "If only I could avoid ______________ I would be so much happier." Immediatly the name of a lady from church came to my mind. It was almost scarey how fast her name came up! Then the second part of the excersize was to ask yourself, "Why does this affect me so?" "Did something happen in my past to make me feel this way?"
Well, that was when I had like this big flashback, pictures of my life pass through my head. Later I tried to explain what I had experienced, but I feel I fell quite short so let me try to "splain".
I grew up in a very traditional, legalistic church. I was happy in my church, served God in my church, felt my calling in my church, and went on variouos mission trips and finally the mission field through my church. Always thinking (and I hate to admit) teaching that we were the one TRUE church. We had the absolute truth and everyone else was just confused, misled or fooled. TRUE Christians were in my church.
THEN I ran into a glitch. I met one of "those other" missionaries at Mac Donalds, and she introduced me to some other very godly women who were not part of my church, yet who were showing much more of Christ's qualities than any women in my current congregation. Nothing is pure coincidence. I was invited to a retreat for Missionary Women (much like the one I helped with this weekend) and met MORE godly women from a vast array of ministries and churches. Each joyful in their own ministry, yet not one seemed to be judging nor condemning anyone else.
Around the same time I had a conversation with an elder's wife from our church about the moment when Christ's disciples saw other's that weren't "with them" casting out demons in Christ's name. They were offened and wanted to show those others "who really had the truth", but Christ said "Who is not against us, is for us." I also started reading some very godly books that were not written by members of my church. I started listening to Christian music a BIG no-no in my church, and I began to realise that my church had a couple of flaws.
I realised that we weren't put here to preach a certain church, we were put here to preach Christ, and Christ crucified. We are not to decide who is and isn't saved, and we aren't here to quibble about trivial things such as instrumental or acapela, clapping or non-clapping, etc. You get the point.
This brings me to that phrase, "If only I could avoid ______________ I would be so much happier." I realised that this women whose name popped into my mind so quickly is trapped in that legalistic box that was put over my head so many years ago. She represents in present time, those people who robbed me of my freedom in Christ so long ago. I realised that I feel anger towards her because I see her trying to rob that same spiritual freedom from others who are comming to Christ with pure hearts.
I am blessed since my "liberation" has been hand in hand with my dear husband, and together we have been for some time now, trying to break the bonds of legalism in our congregation. We are blessed to see a new generation rising up. A generation that was not converted to a church doctrine, but to a Loving Christ. Not to a church lifestyle, but to a Christian life!
We know that change is difficult and slow, but we rejoice in knowing that we are at least a couple of steps farther away from the bonds of legalism and a couple of steps closer to really savoring freedom in Christ!!!!
Anyhows, one of the last classes of the retreat was on dealing with elephants in our lives which are the strongholds, and learning to let go of them. I hadn't really thought of this before and had quite and epiphany. Marty gave us several phrases to try and pinpoint our "Elephants". The phrase that struck me was: "If only I could avoid ______________ I would be so much happier." Immediatly the name of a lady from church came to my mind. It was almost scarey how fast her name came up! Then the second part of the excersize was to ask yourself, "Why does this affect me so?" "Did something happen in my past to make me feel this way?"
Well, that was when I had like this big flashback, pictures of my life pass through my head. Later I tried to explain what I had experienced, but I feel I fell quite short so let me try to "splain".
I grew up in a very traditional, legalistic church. I was happy in my church, served God in my church, felt my calling in my church, and went on variouos mission trips and finally the mission field through my church. Always thinking (and I hate to admit) teaching that we were the one TRUE church. We had the absolute truth and everyone else was just confused, misled or fooled. TRUE Christians were in my church.
THEN I ran into a glitch. I met one of "those other" missionaries at Mac Donalds, and she introduced me to some other very godly women who were not part of my church, yet who were showing much more of Christ's qualities than any women in my current congregation. Nothing is pure coincidence. I was invited to a retreat for Missionary Women (much like the one I helped with this weekend) and met MORE godly women from a vast array of ministries and churches. Each joyful in their own ministry, yet not one seemed to be judging nor condemning anyone else.
Around the same time I had a conversation with an elder's wife from our church about the moment when Christ's disciples saw other's that weren't "with them" casting out demons in Christ's name. They were offened and wanted to show those others "who really had the truth", but Christ said "Who is not against us, is for us." I also started reading some very godly books that were not written by members of my church. I started listening to Christian music a BIG no-no in my church, and I began to realise that my church had a couple of flaws.
I realised that we weren't put here to preach a certain church, we were put here to preach Christ, and Christ crucified. We are not to decide who is and isn't saved, and we aren't here to quibble about trivial things such as instrumental or acapela, clapping or non-clapping, etc. You get the point.
This brings me to that phrase, "If only I could avoid ______________ I would be so much happier." I realised that this women whose name popped into my mind so quickly is trapped in that legalistic box that was put over my head so many years ago. She represents in present time, those people who robbed me of my freedom in Christ so long ago. I realised that I feel anger towards her because I see her trying to rob that same spiritual freedom from others who are comming to Christ with pure hearts.
I am blessed since my "liberation" has been hand in hand with my dear husband, and together we have been for some time now, trying to break the bonds of legalism in our congregation. We are blessed to see a new generation rising up. A generation that was not converted to a church doctrine, but to a Loving Christ. Not to a church lifestyle, but to a Christian life!
We know that change is difficult and slow, but we rejoice in knowing that we are at least a couple of steps farther away from the bonds of legalism and a couple of steps closer to really savoring freedom in Christ!!!!
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